Eh Kase Bata

Tatlong magkaibigan nagpapayabangan:
BOY 1 : "Lahi namin and mahabang buhay, ang Lolo ko namatay 88 years old na."
BOY 2 : "Ako, ang Lolo ko namatay 98 years old na."
BOY 3 : "Wala iyan! Ang Lolo ko sobrang tanda, kaya pinatay na lang namin!"

LITTLE JUANITO : "Tatay, how was I born?"
OLD TATAY : "Ah, my beloved son, I guess one day you will find out anyway! Well, you see, your Nanay and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Nanay and we met at a cyber-cafe! We sneaked into a secluded room where your Nanay agreed to download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later, a blessed little pop-up appeared and said: 'YOU GOT MALE!'"

A little boy went up to his father and asked: "Tay, where did all of my intelligence come from?"
Tatay answered: "Well, anak, you must have gotten it from your mother, because I still have mine!"

ANAK : "Tay, di ba sabi ninyo nuon na-expel kayo sa college!"
DAD : "0o, bakit?"
ANAK : "Totoo pala ang kasabihang 'history repeats itself!'"

SON : ""Tay, I saved 6.50 pesos today!"
FATHER : "Paano?"
SON : "Di ako sumakay ng jeep, sinabayan ko na lang ng pagtakbo hanggang makarating ako dito sa bahay!"
FATHER : "Bobo, sana mas malaki ang natipid mo kung ang sinabayan mo ay iyong taksi!"

ANAK : "Tatay, anong pagkakaiba ng Supper at Dinner?"
TATAY : "Anak, pag kumain tayo sa labas, 'dinner' 'yun. Pag dito kakain ng luto ng Nanay mo, 'suffer' 'yun!"

TATAY : "Anak, ibili mo ako ng soft drink."
ANAK : "Coke o Pepsi?"
TATAY : "Coke".
ANAK : "Diet o Regular?"
TATAY : "Regular".
ANAK : "Bote o can?"
TATAY : "Bote".
ANAK : "8 oz o 2 litro?"
TATAY : "Anak ka ng Ina mo, tubig na lang!"
ANAK : "Mineral, distilled o purified?" (He, he, he, wala ng katapusan ito)

Anak, tumawag sa kanyang tatay na nasa States:
ANAK : "Tay, padalhan mo ako ng pera. Kinain ng daga ang mga damit ko!"
TATAY : "Sorry, anak, wala akong pera, kung gusto mo ipadadala ko ang pusa ko dito!"

LOLO : Jhonny kuhaa akong kape
APO : Lo, jenny po
LOLO : Jhonny palihug ko sa kutchara
APO : Lo, Jenny po
LOLO : Punyeta ka Jhonny, ayaw pag sige ug binayot dha!

MOM : Did'nt I tell u dat if a guy touches ur boobs say DON'T, and if he touches ur pussy say STOP!
GIRL : Right, but he touches both at the same time so I said DON'T STOP!